Inarticulate Ramblings

If you didn’t know and there is no reason you should, my family has suffered the sudden death of our mother some time on the 28th February 2017.

This loss was made infinitely worse by its circumstances, which have been covered in some detail in the news so I will not be going into them here.

Here I am trying to shape how I have and am reacting to this. I don’t expect anyone to read this or take interest but I need to express things somewhere, maybe after some thought and maybe after no thought as it takes me. I just need to empty my head or what is inside there.

I went back to work today for the first time since getting the news. Not sure if that was a good thing or not but I really needed to try to do something routine as just sitting at home staring at the walls or checking the news sites was not helping either. I didn’t last long but at least I made a start, I was there for about 5 minutes before I started to cry. I did start to catch up with some of my work and left after about 2 1/2 hours.

The people at work were great, no prying but offers of support and condolences and I will be trying to get back to some normal working from Monday.

I am still pretty much all over the place, numb, raging, crying, laughing inappropriately and wanting to vanish completely from the face of the earth.

Grief is a strange thing.